You know you're tired when . . .

If you read The House of Beth (bonus points if you got the word play in that title), you probably have figured out or were already aware that my Grandma has been in the hospital recently.   She's still there, in fact.  That she's even still swapping out oxygen for CO2 is just short of miraculous, really.  Literally, all of last week went like this:

Saturday: Bad news, Grandma's having major emergency surgery.
Sunday: Badder news, it was worse than they thought, surgery took till 4 am.
Sunday afternoon: Good news, she seems to be recovering (ie: she's yelling at everyone.)
Monday: Bad news, Grandma had a heart attack, she's alive via machines.
Tuesday: Good news, her heart is strong and lungs are clear.
Wednesday: Bad news, they can't get her to wake up.
Thursday: Badderer news, looks like if you want to see Grandma one last time, better come now.
Friday: Uh, nevermind, she seems to be waking up.
Saturday 2.0: Good news, instead of pulling the plug, Grandma is awake and talking.

So she's doing great now (relatively, she ain't climbing any mountains or doing any astrophysics anytime soon).  And everyone is worn out. Physically, emotionally, mentally.  Happy and rather amazed at her vitality -- everything she went through last week would have done me in by the first Saturday night -- but we are TIRED.

Action-packed.  Could watch this for hours.

It's that kind of tired you can only experience as an adult.  Kids only sleep when they literally cannot force their eyes open one second longer.  I've had kids fall asleep in high chairs with their mouths still open, mid-scream.  I've had them fall asleep standing up.  I've had them fall asleep in the shower (big kids, not little ones).  And teenagers can sleep absolutely anywhere.  But that's just physical exhaustion.  Even just 5 minutes of sleep revs them up for another good 10 hours.  Unfortunately.

It takes grown up life -- and particularly parenthood (and taking care of elderly parents and grandparents, is, frankly, just the same as normal parenting.  Just a lot bigger. And heavier. And, uh, hairier) -- to really understand what it is to be completely, utterly, DONE.

We'll play Jeff Foxworthy's game, parent style.  I'll get us started.  Everyone can play along, non-fiction only. (it's got to be something that actually happened to you/spouse/family member)

You might be parent-worthy tired if . . . 

My favorite show, "Darkness."

You have stared at the TV for 45 solid minutes before you realized it wasn't turned on.

You fell asleep in the shower while washing your hair.

You spent the whole day with your clothes inside out.

You made it to lunchtime before you realized you'd forgotten to put a bra on.

You wore two different shoes to church.  And neither of them was a dress shoe.

You have enjoyed the peaceful practice of watching a glob of paint dry.

You really, truly know what it's like to have NO thoughts in your head.

You have fallen asleep at 6 pm and been woken up at 10 by your spouse (when they just got home) wondering why the kids are still outside.

You have fallen asleep in your car at a red light.

You have spent an evening staring at a blank wall and thoroughly enjoyed it.

You have forgotten complex vocabulary words like "me" and "is."

You're feeling very sleeeeeepppppyyyy . . . 

So, add your own and then we'll all have a good chuckle before we hit the sack.  And maybe tomorrow I'll have enough brains to think of something else to write about.  Or maybe I'll just enjoy this pretty blue wall in front of me.  Soooooo prrreeeeettttttzzzz . . zzz. . . zzzzz